There is a beautiful hadith qudhsi in Sahih Bukhari that states
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’”[Sahih Al-Bukhari]
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “The scholars say that expecting the best of Allah is to expect that He will have Mercy on him and relieve him of hardship.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) also said: “al-Qadi ‘Iyad said that this means He will forgive him if he seeks such, will accept his repentance if he repents, will answer him if he supplicates, and will suffice him if he asks for something. It is also said that it refers to having hope and longing for relief, and this is more correct.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
In life, the same is true.. people are as we think of them, situations are as we think of them. We attract what we believe. . . if we think someone is lazy we will look for things that support that theory instead of looking for things that negate it. If we think our husband never does anything for us we will never look for the things he does do, only the things he doesn’t do.
Inspired by the six intimacy skills as presented in “The Empowered Wife” by Laura Doyle, I’m learning how important it is to turn a negative thought about someone into a positive one. This helps me to look for ways that people meet the expectation of what I want them to be.. It’s amazing how easy it is to find the good in a situation or the good in people if you start to look for a different perspective on the situation or in people.
We attract what we think.. let’s attract the good and repel the bad.. just like a magnet.
bn al-Qayyim (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “Most people – in fact, all of them except those protected by Allah – assume other than the truth, and assume the worst. Most people believe that they are deprived of their rights, have bad luck, deserve more than what Allah gave them, and it is as if they are saying: ‘My Lord has wronged me and deprived me of what I deserve,’ and his soul bears witness to this while his tongue denies it and refuses to openly state this. And whoever digs into his soul and comes to know its ins and outs will see this in it like fire in a triggered explosion…And if you dig into anyone’s soul, you will see that he blames fate and would rather have something else happen to him than what actually did, and that things should be this way or that…So, dig into your own self: are you protected from this? If you are safe from this, you have been protected from something great. Otherwise, I do not see that you have been saved.” [Zad al-Ma’ad]
(some of the quotes are taken from http://hadithaday.org/hadith-qudsi/i-am-as-my-servant-thinks-expects-i-am/)